Do you dread the prospects of getting bored watching tomorrow’s Senate hearing on the ZTE scandal? Try catching the next quotable remark by participants.

Even if you’re not following the alleged overpricing of the government’s broadband contract with ZTE Corporation, you’ll know when there’s an ongoing Senate hearing on the issue. Friends who are normally glued on ANC’s live coverage will suddenly text you comments like, “Kakaibiganin ko na rin si Mike Defensor. Namimigay pala siya ng P50,000 nang walang kapalit.” (I’m going to make friends with Mike Defensor, too. Turns out, he gives away P50,000 without expecting anything in return.)

That was in reaction to the former environment secretary’s testimony that when he gave Senate witness Rodolfo Lozada Jr. P50,000 the night before the latter held a presscon, Defensor was not bribing him; it was an act of help toward somebody whom he hired to head the Philippine Forest Corporation.

Some quotes from these Senate hearings have inspired satires. The Professional Heckler (http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/), for instance, came up with a verse that could very well be Lozada’s Valentine message to administration Senator Joker Arroyo. The latter got irritated when the witness mentioned consulting with the senator’s wife last year if he could be compelled to testify at the Senate:

Here’s a list of quotes from the past Senate hearings. Tomorrow’s probe might just turn up something to make this list spicier.

“Moderate their greed.” – National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA) Secretary Romulo Neri, as quoted by Lozada, instructing the latter to limit the overprice allegedly being structured by Commission on Elections (COMELEC) chair Benjamin Abalos for the ZTE deal.

“Bubukol po ito.” – Lozada, referring to the US$130-million kickback that Abalos purportedly demanded from the ZTE contract, which Lozada thought “might be a little too big.”

“May 200 ka dito.” – NEDA’s Neri, quoting COMELEC’s Abalos when the latter allegedly tried to bribe into approving the ZTE deal.

“Relax ka lang. Mga tao natin ’yan. Relax ka lang.” – Environment Secretary Joselito Atienza, as quoted by Lozada, telling him on the phone not to worry when policemen picked him up at the airport upon his arrival on February 5.

“The only thing that I signed was the chit.” – Lawyer Antonio Bautista, denying Lozada’s allegation that asked the witness to sign a prepared affidavit at Outback restaurant upon Lozada’s return from Hongkong.

“Binigyan ko siya ng pamalengke.” – Former environment secretary and presidential chief of staff Michael Defensor, explaining the P50,000 he gave Lozada when he visited him in La Salle Greenhills, where the policemen brought him after several hours of driving around Metro Manila and neighboring provinces.

“Don’t mess with my wife.” – Senator Joker Arroyo, reacting to Lozada’s statement that he met Fely Aquino Arroyo through businessman Anthony Abaya in September 2007. Lozada said the female lawyer told him that he is not compelled to appear in the Senate investigation since no subpoena has yet been issued against him at the time.

“Thank you, Jun.” – Former COMELEC chair Abalos, expressing his “gratitude” to Lozada for saying on the ABS-CBN special “Harapan” that Abalos did not arrange the approval of the ZTE deal. Lozada said Abalos did not go directly to the Chinese government, but he called the First Gentleman Jose Miguel “Mike” Arroyo, who then purportedly pulled strings to have the Chinese company’s proposal approved.

—Compiled by Purple S. Romero

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